Before I dig into the self love ritual, I want to ask you a question. Currently, as I write this, there are adverts everywhere and there are love hearts everywhere because today is Valentine’s day.
Some of us celebrate some of us don’t but whether you partake or not, this is the day of love. So I thought I’d put this question to you… who is the love of your life?
Don’t jump straight to an answer. Really think about it.
Who do you love the most in the world?
I believe the answer to this question should be the same for everyone.
And I believe the answer should me “myself”.
Yes, this is a day to celebrate with those who we are romantically involved with. But the real love, the love that will last a lifetime and should be the most deeply passionate love of all- that is the love you have for yourself.
There is no one else in the world that we can have a relationship with, like we do with ourselves.
Today I’ll be thinking about what this really means for me, and how I can love myself a little better.
And I’d to share this with you – to share in the magic that comes with really, truly falling in love with yourself.
What one woman feels, we all feel. We are all connected. Every single one of us deserves to love our self.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur,
Below I have mapped out my favourite self love ritual. Something I will be doing today and some different things which I am trying to integrate more of, into my everyday life.
Most of us look for love in all the wrong places.
Meaning that most of us, subconsciously or not, look to others to love us deeply and unconditionally. But most of us don’t even love ourselves in that way. And how unsettling is it to think that we would need to depend on any kind of love that is outside of our own self?
What if you could feel completely whole and cherished without any love from another?
How would you behave differently if your cup was filled and the love from friends and family was just a bonus?
A regular self-love ritual will help you connect, heal and come back into alignment with all that you truly are.
A Self Love Ritual
1. Clear your space
Before you begin make sure your space feels warm and inviting to you. I always start my self care rituals in my meditation room, so I make sure the bed is made, the candles are lit, I have my favourite crystals with me and I make sure the lighting is soft.
2. Journal to connect within
Begin by journalling your current thoughts. Have a conversation with yourself and really take time to reflect on how you’ve been doing and where you want to go.
How have you been feeling?
How have things been going?
What do you want to call into your life?
What are you ready to heal or let go of?
In what ways can you bring regular self-love and care into your life?
3. Ritual bath
Run a hot bath and fill it with whatever you love most. I recommend adding Epsom salt or pink Himalayan salts to detox your body and energetically clear yourself. Pop Rose Quartz crystals in the bath with you as well to envelop yourself with the energy of love.
You can add essential oils to your bath too. Jasmine is a beautiful scent and carries a sensual, feminine energy.
Set a glass of your favourite drink or some cold water next to you.
Place candles around your bath and play soothing music.
I always lay a towel over the toilet lid as it’s within easy reach from my tub and I pop a few additional crystals, my drink and speaker on there.
Let yourself sink into the water and be still. Feel yourself relaxing and grounding.
4. Connect with your body
As a whole, women are incredibly disconnected from our bodies. We are exposed to so much imagery of unrealistic body types and we witness our sexuality being sold as a commodity almost daily. Shame is such a common feeling which most of us carry too.
I think it’s a very powerful thing to begin healing the relationship we have with our own body. Areas that we have disconnected from or hold a low view of.
Place your hands where it hurts your heart to think about, or a place on your body that makes you feel bad about yourself.
For me, one of these places is my stomach. I was angry at and disconnected from this area of myself for a long time. I’m still working on it in fact. This came after years of conditioned belief and phyisical pain telling me that there was something wrong with me. That this area of me was “broken”.
With your hands on your body, send loving energy and thoughts to this area. Say out loud “I’m so sorry I’ve felt sad about you for so long. I’m so sorry and I love you.” Repeat the words in your mind as many times as it feels good.
Place your Rose Quartz crystal on top of this area and send the loving intention into the crystal- that you want to begin to heal and love yourself.
Now tell yourself all the reasons why you love this part of your body. Thank it for all it does for you.
When you get out of the bath, put lotion or oil on your body and as you move from each body part, say the words “I love you as you are” in your mind whilst sending more loving energy.
Write a love letter to yourself
After your bath, go back to your area and sit down to write a love letter to yourself. Here are some prompts
I love you because…
I’m so proud that you…
You’ve shown resilience in the way you’ve…
I’m so sorry for…
I want to heal…
The ways I want to spend more time with you are…
I love the way you….
Ways I’m going to show how much I love you…
Keep this letter once you’ve written it, just like you would a letter someone else sends you. Refer back to it as often as you need to.
Self-love card spread
If you pull Tarot or Oracle cards, here is a spread you can use to connect with your divine Feminine energy and Higher Self.
How can I connect with myself better
Something beautiful about me
What do I need to heal
How can I begin the healing process
What should I love more about myself
A message from the Universe
Self love meditation
You can end your ritual with meditation.
Visualise a bright white, healing light coming down into your Crown or Third Eye. Watch this light flow into every inch of your body, healing and soothing as it moves. Focus more on those areas you need to build a better connection to and really fill them with love.