You will never be healed. It may sound like a really abrasive and negative title, bear with me whilst I expand on why it’s ok that you will never be “healed”. There’s a positive take away, I promise!
To begin with, the concept of being healed suggests that you have been or are in some way, broken. We are not broken, we are simply learning, growing and finding our place in this world; not always an easy process.
The truth is that you will never be healed because you are constantly responding, on a daily basis, to your environment. You just need the right tools to trigger your natural healing process when the environment is less than ideal.
There’s also an assumption that being ‘healed’ is some sort of end goal but life is a journey not a destination. Here it is again for those of you in the back…
Life is a journey, not a destination.
And the same is true of healing. Healing is NOT linear. It’s a constant practice. As soon as you bop one of those triggering suckers on the head, another one pops up.
Ans this is why Wild as the Moon was founded. I realised the important of community and sisterhood whilst trying to integrate a regular healing practice into my life and I want to support other women in doing the same.
Gina’s healing journey
When I look back at who I was and the life I was living even just two years ago, I almost don’t recognise myself. I look back at that girl now and I feel deeply sorry for her. I want to reach out and hug her. To tell her that she doesn’t need to put herself through all of it.
But she did need to go through it all.
Why? Because rock bottom was the most transformative place I have ever been.
Sure, it was terrifying and lonely and painful but the Universe has a way of not-so-gently nudging our life to the path we are supposed to be on when the one we have chosen to live is not right for us.
My once successful business? Crumbling.
My lifetime savings? Gone.
My relationship? A prison of mental abuse
My sanity? Questionable at best.
My liver? Crying.
It seemed like the more I clawed for what was, the more everything crumbled and slipped through my fingers like sand. In reality it had been brewing inside me for year but eventually came the time when I snapped. I chose to disappear for three months by myself, to live in a van in the middle of nowhere.
The relief I felt to be away from reality and have time to clear my head was incredible. But I quickly realised that all the alone time meant I had to face myself. Facing yourself is not easy. It is brutal both mentally and physically. The tears I cried, the rage I poured into written word, the stress I stomped out of my body by clambering up rocks and embarking on intense walks. It all took its toll.
I learned afterwards that this is called shadow work.
It’s about facing all of the feelings you have buried over the years to allow them to leave so that you can be at peace. When that stagnant, toxic, sticky energy leaves your body it is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. And I had the migraines to match.
I view that van now as my cocoon. By the time I came home, I was a new person. I could feel myself glowing. Nothing was ever going to be the same again and that excited me. So much pain had left my body, and now it was time to fill that space with gratitude and love and start rebuilding on sturdier, more aligned foundations. Releasing your past makes room for your future to arrive.
I am still learning, of course. We are constantly growing and developing and part of that is learning difficult life lessons. The difference now is that I know who I am, I know what I want, I know how strong I am. I hit rock bottom and I clawed my way back up. I did it once, I know I can do it again and that is an empowering realisation.
So, if you’ve been feeling stuck, lost, unfulfilled or all of the above, I want you to know that you are not alone! This is the sign you’ve been waiting for. It’s time for you to start investing in your own healing journey. You will never be healed and that’s ok because life is a journey and to live it means to feel it.